September 28, 2011
I blogged for the first 8 years of the Premier List website you've landed on. There's links to my archived columns, and I carefully crafted many of them. For the most part I enjoyed doing it - I like writing, entertaining people and (especially) venting. Another not-so-altruistic benefit of it was the fact that posting pictures of C-list celebs and marking them with Search Engine Optimization techniques brought a lot of visitors to my website.
But the formatting took time, and Curbed My Enthusiasm when a new topic came to mind. Then along came Twitter…and I was immediately hooked! 140 characters, just blurt out your thoughts and press "send" - a godsend! I also like following the random people I've assembled on my twitter feed. There's no better way to kill time while sitting in a doctor's office, waiting for your always-late friend, etc than scrolling through it.
Well, I'm back to my blog. I miss writing complete thoughts on subjects that warrant it, and found easy-to-use formatting software that makes "creating the magic" less of a headache. I'm also launching a comedy act shortly after New Years. Sorry to be ambiguous but I promise, much more on this later.
Then there's my good friend Jack Daniels. I have this "drink & tweet" problem. Suffice to say that there have been many insipid thoughts typed that the next day I forgot about…..only to be reminded of. Always bad to combine drinking with tweets, texts or emails. They always seem so much profound that night than they are the next morning.
One aside: have you noticed how people on twitter love to brag that they never actually FOLLOW anyone on twitter? Like, "I'm too cool to check my twitter feed"? Its total bullshit - like the people in Manhattan that say "oh I don't own a television, who has time for that?" Fucking posers!
From there, I have to divulge my 2 celebrity Twitter crushes: @michellebranch and @aliciawitty (Alicia Witt -pictured).
I first learned of Alicia while watching my Dad's all-time favorite movie Mr. Holland's Opus - my dad was a band director, you see. Alicia is a terrific actress with range - from a great 2-episode "Soprano's" arc as Christopher Maltisanti's D-Girl to a white trash mom on "Friday Night Lights." She also has an evolving music career….but interestingly (and unselfishly) pimps her friends' performances more than her own on Twitter.
Michelle Branch's hit "Everything" is one of my favorite songs of the last 5 years, and the video was terrific. I'd encourage you to listen to it on my music page if you haven't - there's a sexy raspiness to Michelle's voice. She's put out some great music since, and I find her tweets honest & sincere.
Speaking of….I don't know if anyone has put the names @DonnieWalberg & @the_ironsheik in the same sentence. In fact I'd wager $100 that I'm the first to ever do that.
The commonality is entertainment: Wahlberg plays Danny Reagan on "Blue Bloods" with a terrific NYC cop gruffness that belies his NKOTB past. I'm a total mark for that show.
Yet his tweets are often as such:
To all my sleepyheaded sleepy heads... Goodnight! I LOVE YA LOTS TOO! :)
And….
Today! What feels better than a hug? What means more than love? What is more important than being free to have both...? Absolutely NOTHING!
As for the Iron Shiek, here are a few favorites, clearly not edited:
Andre the Giant biggest piece of garbage ever. he have smaller rooster dick than the hulk hogan
i saw the charlie sheen roast? he not better than me roast? i fuck the charlie girlfriend in the ass
Ed. Note - I saw the roast of the Shiek - it was sublime.
Finally a recent gem:
Tiger woods would have the sex with the Miss Piggy
For my fellow sports fans, @RealSkipBayless is provocative and insightful. Bayless' critics often say he plays the part of ESPN's court jester, but I disagree.
His adversary on ESPN's First Take is often @jemelehill - she's been with ESPN for a few years and her columns have gone from good to great, IMO. Jemele & Skip have great chemistry on that show.
I love following Dick Vitale @dickiev. Twitter gives him a forum to express his incredible enthusiasm about....everything! Lots about his beloved Tampa Rays and some nuggets for us NCAA hoops fanatics.
@robneyer, @buster_ESPN and @pgammo are all great on baseball, as you'd expect. @Jay_glazer is the MAN as far as NFL inside info. @SI_PeterKing of the must-read MMQB is one of the few celebs that re-tweets remarks that are critical, usually made by idiots, and just destroys them.
@ESPN_Michelle ie Michelle Beadle is another celebrity crush, with tweets that seamlessly blend sports & pop culture. I drunkenly tweeted something unkind about her several months ago - what a dick I am - and she deservedly ripped me back. Props to Michelle for that.
Finally, sports media watchers should follow SI's @richarddeitsch, @thebiglead and @robstoneESPN
@ebertchicago is an interesting one….many of you know of his valiant battle with cancer, and I just bought his book yesterday. Roger Ebert has lived quite a life, and his reviews still kick ass. He loves to mix in some heavily-liberal quips, though not to the extent of @TheRealRoseanne - whose reality show I never saw just got cancelled. That said, Roseanne is deservedly a Comic Goddess.
Somehow I ended up following @simonegrant She lives this Carrie Bradshaw-esque single NYC life and blogs about her dates. Apparently you can still make a living writing a dating column - who knew? There's no actual picture of her I could find, and I suspect that either she's a) very pretty and overprotective of stalkers, or b) a dude playing a practical joke on her followers. Nonetheless, "Simone" is entertaining.
For comics, @realjeffreyross is topical and of course is the Roast Master. @LisaLampanelli doesn't play it safe. @sarahsilverman has the most blunt, random tweets that will make you laugh. My favorite late-night host from the early 90's is also a constant presence. @ArsenioOFFICIAL often re-tweets notes from fans that want him to make his big comeback. "Humblebrag" of that aside, I can respect that.
Arsenio was great….he'd play to the strength of his guests better than any talk show hosts since. I will never forget the way he eviscerated Milli Vanilli - completely fairly - then interviewed them when revealed as frauds. One of those "you had to be there" moments for my younger readers.
Last but not least, Bill Simmons @sportsguy33 is my favorite writer and the one must-follow, if you get nothing else out of this blog. Over 10 years, I've read every column he's written, and he is simply peerless - especially the mailbags and 5 hour marathon chats. His creation this summer, Grantland.com, is my new favorite website. It has TWO weekly columns on sports gambling….enough said!
Also, Walmart is not sponsoring this blog - they could and should have paid for me to not reinforce that stigma. They chose not to, and sacrificed what could have been an "ode to Walmart" blog.
Anyhow….prior to last week, I did what most Manhattanites do when I need something. I walked to Duane Reade. I waited in line, paid for what I needed carried the stuff home.
Here's the rub: you can go onto walmart.com, buy the exact same things, pay something like 40-50% less, not have to wait in line, not have to awkwardly hand your "club card" over to someone whom English is at best their 3rd language, and not have to carry bags home. Better yet - Wal-Mart provides free shipping! And the 40-50% less I told you about is factoring DR's "sales."
Put it this way - say you need cleaning supplies, beverages, a prescription or 2, etc and it comes to $180 at DR. At Wal-Mart, not kidding, $100 - and its at your door in 2 days. Try it!
OK, to my picks. 4-0 last week, by the way, as I strain to pat myself on the back. This week I like:
UNLV + 20 ½ at Nevada. Every year Nevada blitzes Vegas, hence the line is so high - but UNLV is better this year and coming off a bye-week. Nevada just had an emotional game on national TV vs Boise State. UNLV will keep the score respectable.
Northwestern + 7 ½ vs Michigan. This line makes no sense to me. Last week I picked Northwestern + 10 ½ vs Illinois which they easily covered - now they get over a touchdown at home against an overrated Wolverines team. Oddsmakers have not caught on to the fact that Northwestern is actually good.
And an NFL game I'm attending: Seattle + 9 ½ at NY Giants. The Seahawks aren't awful, but that's not why I love this pick. The Giants had 2 HUGE emotional road wins at Philly & Arizona, and will not be up for this game - nor will their fans. Seahawks coach Pete Carroll will make this game his team's Super Bowl. This will be close.
February 20, 2012: The "I'm-kinda-moving-to-Vegas" blog!
So, it seems I've been hired to run a party in Las Vegas, beginning Memorial Day weekend. To be clear - it will NOT affect my running NYC summer cruises, or parties going forward. I simply was offered a "can't say no" opportunity to take a Vegas party (or "events" in Las Vegas lingo) from the ground up.
Logistically, I'll be living about 50% of the time in NYC (100% of the summer, 50% of the spring/fall) and the other 50% at the LV Hilton. No more snowy winters!
Factoring into this decision: I'm 38 and have I never lived anywhere besides the East Coast in my life. So I quickly jotted these 3 positives & negatives on the move:
POSITIVES
Weather. Well, duh. But since this is a blog and all, I should make that point clearly. I've spent 58 of the last 365 calender days in Vegas. In that time, it has rained only twice - at night. It has been sunny 55 of the 58 days.
Job Security. You might have noticed that there is still something of a recession, despite what political candidates feel helps their election hopes the most. Well, I - again, for the first time in 38 years - have something called "insurance" for major medical, dental, and retirement. I will study what these terms mean, but I assume this is all positive!
Proximity I've never been to Phoenix, Anaheim, San Diego or Los Angeles. Apparently they are each less than 5 hours from Vegas. Can cross some venues off my baseball park list!
NEGATIVES
The New York Rangers. Oh, Rangers, how I will miss you so, in the midst of a playoff run. I've suffered soooo many lame years and now….you're finally good AND like-able! And I've gotta watch you from 3,000 miles away!
Moving further away from my parents, who live in CT. Though I did learn that JetBlue has 4 daily non-stops from Vegas to Bradley Int'l. I sold this, and will not miss a Thanksgiving or Christmas!
Hailing taxi cabs. OK, this might seem petty to some, but bear with me here!
So in the 10 years I've lived in Manhattan, when I've needed a cab, I simply step onto the street and hail one. It really is not hard to do.
In Vegas (and Atlantic City, for that matter) there is a presumption that people are too dumb to get their own cabs. Or more like it, the casino/hotel's are petrified of being sued for....something. So, each time you get a cab there's someone that has no purpose in life but to
a) ask you where you're going and tell the driver, and
b) open the door for you to get into a cab....
....two things I am quite capable of doing on my own. More annoying is the expection of a gratuity for this non-service.
To be clear, I work in the service industry and believe in over-tipping if anything. Just in my last Vegas trip I heavily tipped the following:
Bartenders, waitresses & even a few busboys, my hairstylist, colorist, shampoo girl, manicurist, pedicurist (you got a problem?) & the guy at the Hilton buffet who makes my egg-white omlette each morning.
In sum, I probably spent $1,000 in 15 days on tipping. Not mentioning all this to claim to be a great guy for doing so. I just reinforce the point that the cost a Vegas trip includes quite a bit of gratuity.
Now: paying some dude to open the door of a cab for me is where I draw the line! So yeah, that's my 3rd negative about moving to Vegas. One I'll get over quickly with the realization that there will be no more snow in my life!
Cheers - I will blog again after my March 1 Vegas kinda-move!
