April 15, 2007
It is staggering, how many losers are out there that have nothing better to do than try to sell/spam me on their:
* Webcam (yeah, if I want to see porn, I won't just put in a Jesse Jane DVD....I'd rather pay for your ridiculous webcam)
* Ladies Purse (hello! have penis!)
* Nintendo Wii (addressed in previous blog...if you live in Manhattan and the best thing you can do in your spare time is play a video game, you really need to leave the basement!)
Enough already! And the weak-ass way Myspace or "Tom" deals with Spam is pathetic. So you block them...then their "friend request" still exists! I mean - is it that hard to program a website (one that sold for millions of dollars) that when you block someone, they don't stay in your friend request box?
This really shouldn't bother me so much, right?
April 4, 2007
This is an excellent 7 minute recap of ALL SIX (well, 5 1/2) previous Sopranos' seasons. Apparently, this 7 minute video took 3 guys 100 hours each to make. You'll see why, very detailed, no plotline is uncovered. Great if you've never seen the show!
Also - I've gotten a few complaints because I now require "comment approval." Lets be clear about this. You can call me a motherfuckingprickcocksucker and I promise that I'll post the comment, it takes 2 seconds to approve. Its NOT for screening posts I like vs ones I don't (those that use it for that purpose are absolute pussies).
It is for screening:
* Other promoters (also friends) putting up flyers for competing parties, which they spam to their entire "friend list".
* These losers that have nothing better to do than put up some generic "myspace graphic" with the heading "showing some love." Like the one to your left!
Seriously, get out of your basement if that's all you have to do with your time.
March 23, 2007
I saw a few DVD's recently. Quick thoughts -
* Rocky Balboa: Loved it, especially the fight scene in HD. Having HBO & ESPN cover it like a real fight really worked. Without giving away too much for those that haven't seen it, I was impressed by the fact that the writers came up with a realistic scenerio in which the fight (59 year old Balboa against the current Heavyweight Champ) would be competative. As always, the music was brilliant!
The only problem I had with the movie was the demi-god way Rocky looked at Adrian, and how sad we were supposed to be that she died. Look - this is going to sound harsh, but "Adrian" was of average intelligence, had a wet blanket personality, definitely could have been more supportive of Rocky, and blah-looking. Truly, I was glad she was written out of the movie. She added nothing.
And lets be real - Rocky would have moved onto some 28 year old waitress he met at Planet Hollywood.
Still, the best movie I've seen all year.
The Departed: A disappointment. It really felt like Scorcese saw the success of "Goodfellas" and "Sopranos" and threw together a bunch of famous actors just to make a mob movie.
March 7, 2007
Do you remember Microsoft's "Start Me Up" Campaign a few years back for Windows 2001? The commercials were on all the time, to the beat of the Rolling Stone's hit. A few friends of mine - big Stones' fans - were outraged that Mick, Keith & the boys would sell out to Bill Gates for however many kajillionbilliontrillion dollars he offered.
I'll admit - I didn't understand at the time why they bothered them so much. I even remember countering their argument with "well, at least the software is good stuff." Well...
Those that know me, know that one of my favorite songs is "Blister in the Sun" by the Violent Femmes. The lyrics are a bit silly, but it has a great beat. Plus, it takes me back to my senior year of college, and some great memories. Semester at American U. YMCA Camp Letts counselor (yes, I had to be nice to kids). Waiting tables at the Pleasant Peasant in DC (yes, I had to be nice to stupid people). Living with my then-girlfriend Shannon when neither of us knew what the fuck we were doing.
I'm not one to get nostalgic, simply because being 33, single and living in Manhattan with WAY more financial security than I had then is great, too. Its just that when "Blister..." comes on, it brings me back to what seems like a different life, altogether.
Anyway - this week I saw "Blister..." set to the beat of a fucking Wendy's commercial, selling a chicken sandwich!!!!!
And yes, now, I understand how Stones' fans felt....
March 7, 2007
Just got back from Vegas this morning. Interesting trip.
I recently saw a feature on Larry "The Cable Guy," who is a LOT smarter than he comes across in his comedy (you might know him as the "Get'er Done" guy who wears plaid shirts cut off at the shoulders).
Well, Larry is really Daniel Whitney, who created this white trash image to make millions upon millions of dollars doing stand-up comedy aimed at....well, people in motor homes. Elitists forget: those people spend money, and take people on dates, too.
When asked the secret of his success and other "redneck comedians" like Jeff Foxworthy, he replied "a lot of entertainers forget, there's a lot of country between New York and Los Angeles."
December 14, 2006
Unlike most people that enjoy money (an obvious weakness of mine), I've never idolized Donald Trump. First, the guy has to wear a suit for like 16 hours a day. That must suck. Then there's the fact that constantly needs to remind people how successful he is. He must be very insecure.
Still, there's no denying both his cultural impact & media savvy. Take the case of Miss USA Tara Conner. You've probably read a lot about her drinking, drug use and alleged sluttiness recently. Add that to Trump's penchant for publically saying "You're Fired" and the writing was on the wall. Conner would be stripped of her tiara for being an embarassment. Right?
January 11, 2007
The Greatest Drunk on Earth Was - according to "Modern Drunkard Magazine" - also the 8th Wonder of the World, Andre the Giant!
I cannot tell you how many great memories Andre gave me as a kid.
If you're female and could care less about Andre's alcohol tolerance, skip to the middle for some great "Princess Bride" stories:
Friday, November 17, 2006
This letter was lifted from the column of ESPN.com writer Bill Simmons, a/k/a The Sports Guy. Needless to say, I loved it:
Q: My buddies and I were talking about appropriate punishments for dictators like Saddam Hussein, and we came up with an idea that works for everyone and could raise money for the International Criminal Court without using tax dollars. Why not charge admission for people to look at convicted dictators in their jail cells, kind of like a zoo for genocidal megalomaniacs?
Think about it: you put them in small, basic cells behind plexiglass and charge 25 euros to watch them go about their day. Tourists could get baked at a local coffee shop and head over to the jail to gawk at Slobodan Milosevic sitting on a cot watching "90210" reruns. You could even charge extra to feed them falafel pellets and shawarma biscuits.
This would be a far worse fate for a once-proud dictator then being executed. Who wouldn't pay 25 euros to watch Saddam Hussein in his underwear eating Cheetos?
--Kris, Washington
SG: That's the new Greatest E-mail of 2006. And just for the record, I'd pay 200 euros to see dictators in zoo cages.
November 01, 2006
OK, lets get something straight off the bat. People like to think back to their childhood and high school days with warm, fuzzy thoughts as though everything was so much better then. Obviously, there is a tremendous appeal to having your biggest worry in life being showing up on time for baseball practice, a teenage crush, whatever.
While I do have lots of great memories of growing up in the "Awesome 80's," lets face it: we have it pretty good in 2006. Think about it....
* Need info on anything? Takes 2 seconds to do an internet search. Back then, crack open those dusty Encyclopedia Brittanica's!
* Need to call someone when you're not home? Forget about cell phones - back then you had to use germy pay phones and hope the OTHER person was home. Not practical!
* Video games, IPOD's, 1500 cable channels vs UHF....I can go on. I am not blindly nostalgic. If you're smart enough to read my blog, well, you get the point!
Which brings me to a special I watched this week on VH1's "Greatest Songs of the 80's." I'm sorry, but the 80's kicked ass over present day musically. There were SO MANY good songs on this special, back to back, just one great song after another interrupted by the occasional "eh" one (I'm sorry, "Mr Roboto" still sucks after 20 years). And they didn't repeat an artist once! Just amazing.
These days...not so much. Lets face it - I'm a party promoter, I listen to a lot more music than most, and most of what is considered "hot" these days pales in comparison (or just sucks).
Here's my OWN "top 10 songs of the 80's" list. I must admit that "Get into the Groove" would have made this list.....however, the minute Madonna started faking a snooty English accent, that was grounds for disqualification.
* 10. Never - Heart
9. Born in the USA - Bruce Springstein. My first concert!
8. Cruel Summer - Bananarama. Bonus points for the Karate Kid tie-in....in 1984, you can imagine how many times I heard "Put him in a bodybag, Johnny!"
* 7. Freedom - Wham! Keep wiseass remarks to yourself on this one.
* 6. Smokin' in the Boys Room - Motley Crue. Just a dirty song.
5. Bust-a-Move - Young MC. Otherwise known as good hip-hop.
* 4. Eye of the Tiger - Survivor. Hulk Hogan's entrance music upon first entering the WWF - good times!
* 3. Summertime Girls - Y&T. The song on the list that you've probably never heard, which is too bad!
* 2. We Got the Beat - Go-Go's (VH1 picked "Our Lips are Sealed", the video for which prominently features Belinda Carlisle in a wet t-shirt....I know, my last post was about her....needless to say, I'm a fan)!
1. Jack & Diane - John Mellancamp. If anyone reading this ever has to give me really bad news, play this song in the background to soften the blow!
The starred songs were, inexplicably, off VH1's top 100, which you can find on their website.
Any other glaring omissions?
September 25, 2006
Here's today's feature on NYC Club Life - my quote is at the end.
I thought, as a whole, the article was fair. It is absolutely true that clubs are shying away from doing anything with a clientele under 21 - for good reason in most cases. Basically, if you don't have a VERY strict wristband system in place, and employees or security that enforce it, you're screwed if anything happens. Pacha does have this - and that's why the Friday party has been so successful (and has stayed out of the papers).
Ultimately, though, the negative publicity of being an "18 and over club" - whether its one night a week, a small percentage of the clientele, or whatever - is too much for clubs to handle. Especially when this clientele can't legally drink booze! Of course, that means that all the well-off kids that go to NYU, Columbia, FIT, etc and hear about Manhattan's legendary nightlife either a) get fake ID's or b) make friends with the type of promoter quoted in that article with "connections" to sneak them in.
Getting back to the article -
Yes, its nice to see your name in the NY Post, and get a plug for my website (going onto alexa.com which tracks these things, www.premierlistnyc.com got 5x as much traffic on 9/24 as it did on 9/17). However, being lumped in with these other scumbags, with the picture of the girl being arrested in front of the club....not so nice. I was interviewed for over 30 minutes on a variety of topics, and had no idea that underage drinking would be the focus of the article.
All and all though, not a hatchet job.
September 9, 2006
About a week ago, I put up a job advertisement on Myspace & Craigslist.
After looking at some of the applicants....well, in the immortal words of Principal Vernon in The Breakfast Club, "I shutter when I think of who will lead us in the future." Of course, that movie is over 20 years old, we've all managed to get by.
Here's my favorite line from a cover letter I received, cut & paste:
Maria Impalli
OBJECTIVE
My job objective is to secure a job where I can planet my feet and grow as well as learn more.
"Planet my feet" - that's just fabulous!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Part of being a promoter for a living is, when I see an advertisement, the first thing that comes to mind is "how effective is this?" The second thing is "are they marketing towards smart or stupid people" (96% of the time, its the latter).
This brings me to eHarmony.com's new ads. You can't miss their warm & fuzzy commercials set to a lilly-white screen and the beat of "this may be...an everlasting love for meeeeee....yeahhhhh" The safe-looking, grandfatherly-like guy talks about the "29 personality dimentions" that they match people up on.
Then couple after couple, mostly average-looking people, start talking about how amazing their partner is. "Our first kiss was just....amazing" says one hapless (hopefully well-paid) guy.
Premier List Home | Plan a Party | Cruises | HunkOMania | LimoBus | Directory | Concierges | Blog & Music
There was one Departed scene that I really enjoyed and spoke to post 9/11 better than most movies aspire to. Alec Baldwin's character was a police captain and was wire-tapping private conversations without a warrant. His justification: "Patriot Act! Patriot Act! I Love it!"
The Pursuit of Happiness. I enjoyed this - Will Smith & his son did a terrific job making you genuinely care about their characters - but for one aspect. It made stock brokers/traders out to be these happy, well-adjusted people....there was one scene when Will Smith was about to interview for Dean Witter where he observed how "happy everyone was."
Well...
I lived for 4+ years right near Wall Street. Suffice to say that those people are a miserable, unfriendly bunch that forgot how to smile years ago.
Borat: As funny as you heard. If you have the DVD, check out the "propoganda" bonus scenes, including Borat on Conan O'Brien trying to cut Conan's red pubes so he could sell them.
Finally, 5 reasons to hate Grey's Anatomy, a truly loathsome show pandering to 12 year old girls, fat housewives and mental midgets everywhere!
So, so true. And I would be willing to bet that Larry the Cable Guy devised inspiration by seeing the people at my hotel in Las Vegas, the Imperial Palace. Even though I'd been to Vegas several times, I never noticed it. They offered me a comp suite for 5 nights so I gave it a try (they are networked with Caesars from Atlantic City and probably saw my blackjack rating there). My friend Colleen mentioned that the IP was her "favorite hotel" in Vegas, so I was actually excited about the IP.
The result? Well, the best way to describe the decor is "Vegas tackiness crossed with trailer park fixins." And my Suite was actually the honeymoon suite...mirrors on ceilings and above the hot tub, rose petals....this would all have been great if there was ever a woman in my room! Waking up every morning and seeing myself on the ceiling was awfully strange.
OK - re-reading the above it sounds like I'm bitching. Really, I had a good time. Overall, lost a bit of $ based on 2 events:
1. My first night there where I had too many Long Island Iced Teas and spent more time flirting with the pretty girl next to me from Florida, rather than paying attention to blackjack. My own fault. Even though days 2-5 I was ahead (and didn't drink much beyond water & diet coke), the damage was done.
2. Betting on my beloved UConn Huskies basketball team. They played Villanova in a game they should have won, but couldn't hit an open jumper to save their lives.
For those of you considering going to Vegas or Atlantic City, here's something to consider. The whole thing is basically a contest to see who can outscam who. The casino's motivation is obvious. However - as a player, you can set yourself up where you pay for literally nothing - food, gifts, room, internet, movies, workouts, etc - all 100% free. As long as you gamble at the right casinos that take care of their players. In AC, the place that does this is The Borgata, which shockingly is ALSO the nicest place there. The "Total Rewards" network of Caesars/Ballys/Paris/Harrahs is not bad either, and your comps work in AC or Vegas (thanks to Donny & Tina Garzino for exposing me to this underworld).
Well, I found a new favorite place in Vegas called Casino Royale that comps like crazy. A little white trashy as well, but a good vibe. Plus, they have a game called "blackjack switch" that is fantastic (its what allowed me to catch up days 2-5). I have already been offered a comp suite and have $170 in my account just waiting for me. I also played at The Wynn, the new casino in Vegas that rated me OK. I really want to stay there....
Another note - and this is true of all times you fly: if at all possible, bring one carry-on bag and do NOT check your bags. I have learned this lesson twice, the hard way. Bags getting delayed 2 1/2 hours when I arrived was not fun, and led to way too much time in the airport bar sucking down those aforementioned Long Island IT's.
The good note of this is I was able to parlay this into a comped round-trip flight, good anywhere in the 48 states. With the NCAA hoops tournament & baseball season coming up, 3 guesses where I'm going?
In the words of College Football analyst Lee Corso: "Not so fast, my friend!"
Trump, who runs the Miss USA pageant, decided to give her a second chance and pay for her to go to rehab. "I think Tara is going to be the great comeback kid," says Trump. At the press conference, Conner turned to Trump and said "You'll never know what this means to me. I will not let you down." You can see that lovely moment in a picture to your left.
By the way - you think Trump may OD one day on Self-Tanning Spray?
October 4, 2006.
This is random, but I was just reminded how hot Belinda Carllisle is! Actually, I should refer to this crush in the past tense, she's 47 and that's just not gonna work.
But in the early 80's, there was no woman equal to BC for me. Of course I had her poster on my bedroom wall - hey, I was 8!
Belinda had it all - talent, great looks, knew how to party, didn't come across like a stuck up bitch in interviews (can you hear me, Paris Hilton?)
As a matter of fact, the anorexic, "attitude sells" women of 2006 that think of themselves as "divas" should take note of what a real pop star looks and acts like.
Here's an article on what Belinda's up to with a pic. Definite MILF....
Effective, but not terribly masculine.
So I'm watching ESPN classic the other night - same eHarmony ad format, but a switch. Its only one couple, and the girl is a babe - not Pam Anderson quality, instead the "attanable girl next door type" (really, how many guys watching ESPN Classic at 1 a.m. think they can get a "10"?) And the sole subject of the ad was how they're both football fans - her Browns, him Steelers - and how you can find a sports fan on eHarmony.
Just brilliant hitting of the demographic they're looking for....dumb guys that believe that pretty, social girls that like football are looking for them on eHarmony.
That same hour, I saw an ad for TGIFridays for 3 new food items:
a) Nacho's with chili
b) cheese fries
c) Fried macaroni & cheese (like regular mac & cheese wasn't decadent enough, they have to fry the shit)
Then they pan away to 6 people eating at the table....and not one of them is fat!
So - smart or stupid people, who's the target here?
Excuse me while I bolt to my nearest TGIF....
July 6, 2006
For once, our court system gets it right (though I would have sentenced them longer than a year):
These people that try to scheme their way to defraud businesses are nothing more than pieces of s***. They clog our courts, cost restaurant employees their jobs, and make a scene when all the other people eating want to do is enjoy their dinner.
If you wonder why the steak you're eating costs $30 (when you can buy it at the grocery store for $6), these scumbags are part of what costs businesses ridiculous insurance premiums. And it extends to my business as well; clubs pay insane liability insurance policies, something to consider when your Jack & Coke costs $9.
Remember the canings in Singapore 12 years ago to the guy that spraypainted random cars (this only got in the news because one of the canings happened to an American)? Would it be that horrible if the woman here got the same punishment? How many people would falsely claim a "mouse in their soup" after that?